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quotingNot going to lie, the last 24 hours have been really hard
nevent1q…tnwn
Not because of some disaster
But rather the mundane, the daily grind, my duties as a husband and father, have just not quite clicked
Anger
Anxiety
Frustration
Sense of lack
Exhaustion
My emotional cup has been full, so any test, has tipped it over
Shouting at kids
Arguing
Making poor decisions
Feeling wrecked
As much as you’re working towards a vision of brilliance, sometimes things just don’t go well
The rough with the smooth
The hot with the cold
It’s been shitty
I keep trying to remind myself that it will pass
And as I write this, I think I am basically through it
Indeed, I am starting to laugh and cringe at the same time, as I think about what kicked me off
It was circa 7.30 last night
On the sofa with my wife
Watching some TV
Thinking we were in the clear kids wise
Then boom, one wakes up, interruption, then the other won’t go to sleep, then the other wakes up again
Until I find myself having hit pause on the show we were watching, having maybe got through 30 mins in 3 hours
😅😅😅
I was mad
“I’ve been looking after one of these things since 5am this morning, can I not sit down in peace ever?!?!”
Running through my head
Lol
What a psycho
And there it is. Me. I am the problem. My expectations. Children are unpredictable. Life is unpredictable. So really this experience is a reflection on me, that I am not in as cruisey a state as I thought
I must do more work on myself
Shit, and there I was thinking it was everyone else’s fault
Tomorrow I will better
GN
🙏🏻